You know, it takes a really brave person to truly examine himself. All of us, with no exceptions, have things deep within ourselves that we don’t want to acknowledge are there. Some of us are so afraid to face ourselves, face our weaknesses, see our own selfishness, greed, or any other “ugly” trait, we turn to outside sources like heavy drinking, drugs, or overindulge in eating to hide ourselves from ourselves. That fear paralyzes us and we end up spiraling toward the very outcome we’re desperately trying to avoid.
If you can identify with this fear, I encourage you with all my heart, to acknowledge just one “Negative” part of your being, beginning today. Go off by yourself in a room, look at yourself in a mirror and say to that image…”I love you and I will protect you from harm during this process.” I find it easier to start out by taking the issue outside myself (using the person in the mirror) to enable me a more objective view of the root problem. Ask the person in the mirror what their greatest thing they dislike or even hate about themself. Together, look at the issue from different angles…how does it feel…what does it do to you; to others around you? Where do you think this started or have it’s beginning? Can you look at that from a different viewpoint to perhaps change your feeling about it? All the while, you must tell this person that you love them no matter what and that you’re ther to help them. Use the same process I wrote about before on “How I overcame the Fear of Rejection” as these issues don’t want to be exposed because of this fear.
Once the specific trait is identified and analyzed, You now make a specific plan to meet the challenge. Say to this person in the mirror, “You must change your beliefs about “it” controlling you. Now that you’ve seen “it” for what it really is, a new belief can be constructed since you control it by your own choices. You can substitute the old undesirable action with a new appropriate action because your thoughts about it have changed.”
Now you can internalize it again. Self forgiveness is crucial. If God has forgiven you, who are you Not To? (Yes, He really did forgive YOU!) This next step may sound stupid, but it really does have a positive effect on your psyche. Wrap you arms around yourself and give yourself a BIG hug! You’re letting yourself feel protected during a hurtful experience. Now when” it” pops it’s ugly little head again, it can easily be recognized, the plan of action implemented and now you’re one step closer to the life you want.
You can use this method for each part of your personality you don’t like, one at a time. Soon you will like yourself for who you are.
A little disclaimer here, some of us have “it’s” that are big enough to require professional help. If that’s you, don’t be afraid to seek help if you need it. Nothing is more important than your life.
