What to Do When Your Feelings Get Hurt

Letter to My Family
You’ve heard the saying “Stick and Stones can break my bones but Words can Never harm me”
That’s a BIG FAT LIE!
Think back to a time when someone called you a not so nice name or called you stupid. It hurt didn’t it. It did not make you feel good. They can never take back what they said; you heard it and it went right to your heart, your sub-conscious mind. Words have the power to bring Life or death. Remember that the next time you get angry and choose your words wisely!
I’ll tell you how to take the sting out of unkind words spoken to you.
Here’s a secret for you to ponder:
Nothing in life has any meaning unless YOU give it meaning!
When I was younger, my feelings got hurt very easily. It was probably because I never felt good about myself. There were plenty of times when I didn’t even like myself. I was never good enough, smart enough, pretty enough…I hope none of you feel that way but if you can relate, I’ve got the antedote. All someone had to do was look at me wrong and I took it to mean they hated me, even when they were not looking at me at all. If a teacher corrected me in school, I took it as I was stupid. No boy would ever like me because I was too short and fat. Most of my interactions with other people I perceived as negative because I saw myself as a negative. I gave it the wrong meaning. I didn’t know it at the time but since I believed the lie in my heart, I acted accordingly. This attracted more of the same negative behavior on my part and the natural response from others was they didn’t want to hang out with me. (I can’t blame them. Who wants to hang out with such a moody, unhappy, boring person?)
I had to learn to see myself differently. I had to choose to love myself, imperfections and all. If I couldn’t like me, how could anyone else? This was one of the hardest things for me to do. The help I needed came from my creator, the Creator of the Universe. If He could love me just the way I am, who am I not to. I had to start consciously listing my good qualities, which was hard at first as I was concentrating on the negative for so long. I had to only look at myself positively, correcting myself each time I started thinking negatively….like a million times a day!
Here’s another secret: This is how I corrected myself.
You can look back on something bad that happened to you that made you feel uncomfortable or even very painful and deliberately change the way you “saw” it so it doesn’t hurt or bother you any more.
I learned this only a short time ago and now I do this as often and as soon as I need to. This is a secret to how I stay happy no matter what! I tell you these things now so that when someone treats you in a way you don’t like, which will happen, you can choose how you feel about the situation and the person by giving it a meaning that is positive.
When I was growing up, I would practice my electric guitar and experiment with different effects and sounds. I lived in a small house so take that into consideration. Quite frequently, my Mom would holler to me to “Turn that &@% %@^^ thing down!” The meaning I put to that regular statement was I sounded awful, I would never get a good sounding tone, no one would ever want to hear me. I did not have the information I’m telling you now and it affected me deeply until I obtained the key to get released from it’s clutches on my heart. With that key, I thought back in my mind to those situations, remembered the feelings and thoughts I had at that moment and looked at those events from a different perspective. Here are the questions I asked myself (as is the formula for addressing all of your hurts).
- Was what I thought, the meaning I gave it at the time TRUE?
- What was the real intent behind the words?
- Can I change the words to what they really meant?
Of course. All she was telling me was she was annoyed because she couldn’t hear what was on TV. She did not mean she didn’t want me to practice, or that I sounded terrible. (I’m sure some of the sounds did sound awful but that was not her point.) I looked at that situation, heard her real meaning she was trying to convey, thought about it a minute, played it back a few times in my mind, observed my feelings after asking those questions and guess what. The thoughts no longer were negative. It didn’t hurt me any more.
At first, this was difficult for me. I had to really work at it but the more I did it, the easier it got. My ego didn’t like it at all! That part of me wanted to be angry but since I call the shots, not my ego, I win.
It is important for you to guard your heart (feelings) and mind (thoughts) with all diligence. If you don’t keep a positive attitude, you are less likely to create or get what you want. A positive attitude actually attracts what you want to you…just as a negative attitude attracts what you don’t want. If you change your thoughts, you automatically change your words because out of the heart, the mouth speaks. Only you can control your thoughts and words. Only you are responsible for both. Remember that words are very powerful. They can deliver either Life or death.



